WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

According to the Kentucky Domestic Violence Association (www.kdva.org), domestic violence is "a pattern of coercive behaviors that one person exercises over another."

The American Bar Association's Commission on Domestic Violence reports that domestic violence is the use of:

• Physical violence
• Threats
• Emotional abuse
• Harassment
• Stalking to control a person's behavior

by a spouse, intimate partner or date. Domestic abuse can also include psychological intimidation.

The following information is adapted from a report by the ABA Commission on Domestic Violence and other sources.

Batterers use domination, intimidation, terrorizing, rule-making, stalking, harassing and injurious behavior to control and manipulate the actions of their partners and sometimes their children.

Physical violence includes putting your hands on a person against his/her will. It also includes shoving, pushing, grabbing, pulling or forcing someone to stay somewhere. Regardless of the relationship between two people, using physical violence or force against someone is a crime.

Emotional abuse - where one partner continuously degrades or belittles the other or accuses the other of being stupid, unattractive, a bad parent, unfaithful or any other similar fault - can indicate domestic violence or the potential for domestic violence.

Domestic violence impacts children as well - even if they are never physically injured by it. Children who witness domestic violence often suffer from behavioral and cognitive problems. Boys, especially, are more likely to be aggressive and engage in criminal behavior if they grow up in homes where domestic violence exists.

Even after divorce, batterers often use issues arising in custody and visitation cases to try to re-establish control over their victims. For example, a batterer may fail to show up on time for scheduled visitation, intending to harass the victim or to create a reason for further contact.

Because you may always be connected to your abuser through your children, you must learn now how to protect them and yourself from the clutches of the person from whom you sought to escape by getting a divorce. Your abuser will always be your child's father or mother, but you can take steps to shield them from danger and to protect yourself as well.
 

• What is the law in Kentucky on domestic violence?
• How do I take out an EPO ("Emergency Protective Order")?
• What can I do if I am afraid another episode of domestic violence might happen to me?
• What resources are available in the metropolitan Louisville area for victims of domestic violence?
• Should I be worried my abuser may learn about my internet activities?
• Disturbing facts about domestic violence.